6 Then she arose with her daughters in law, that she might return from the country of Moab: for she had heard in the country of Moab how that the Lord had visited his people in giving them bread. RUTH 1:6
Even when our love ones die, we have to keep loving, its life.
I come from Nigeria, the pride of Africa, ok calling it that might have been a bit over board, the pride of West Africa. Nigeria is known for a lot of things ranging from crude oil, great culture, and home to some of the world’s largest churches, Nigeria, home to, Goodluck Jonathan, Prof. Soyinka, Olu Jacobs, 2 Face, Dangote, and the list goes on.
One of the worse things that could happen to you in Nigeria, or ancient Nigeria is the loss of your husband while your mother in law is alive, the after math can be horrible, unbearable, I can’t even think of a bad example without ruining your day, okay here is one, myth, legend and reality has it that the body of the spouse is washed and the woman is made to drink the water used in washing the dead corpse. So when tragedy strikes guess what happens, the daughter in laws are looking for a way out, they want to get as far from the family as possible, oh just in case I forgot to mention wives and their mother-in-law’s are usually worst of enemies. In fact a large part of the country’s movie industry has been centered on this.
So Ruth opens the door, it’s her mother in law Naomi, and the other lady, Naomi, hugs Ruth and starts to cry, hugs her, for hours they just sit, stirring at each other, and weeping, no name calling or property sharing, just tears, tears and more tears. The sun goes down, the night is turning into a new day, guests leaving asking them to promise to eat some of the food they brought. Its back to just they three of them again, Naomi begins to plead with them, let’s all try to get a bite and eat.
Naomi has been around for a while, she had her husband long enough to raise excellent young men, had the joy of planning their weddings and a truck load of memories, yes she would love to have more memories, grandchildren for example but she’s not ungrateful for what she has. She takes care of everything, the funeral home, the guests lists and waits to help get them back on their feet, I even heard she made some calls to get them some part time jobs so they don’t sit at home daily just thinking about their losses.
As days turn into weeks and weeks into month Naomi begins to realize that she has to give these young ladies some space so they can begin to move on with their lives, they don’t have any kids and in a society that believes the core purpose of a woman is to bear children, then they earlier they begin to have kids the better for them, but how can they do this if am always here reminding them of my children that they have lost, I have to give them some space but how?
She hears a news, the right news, the right reason to leave, she hears that the economic state of her home town has been on the increase, the rise was so amazing there were some who believed it was an act of God, that’s it she says that’s it, I must go home, I should find something doing, something for sustenance, I still have some strength left, am not done with life yet, there has got to be more, more I can do with life and for life.
Relationships go through tough times where the people your connected to suffer losses. Sometimes these are losses you have experienced or yet to experience.
When people we love suffer losses we can’t explain or help we have the tendency to either disappear because it’s unbearable or try to do everything possible because we can’t bear to see them that way however the best thing I think to do for them, is just be there for them.
Life has a way of testing our love through losses, what’s the point of loving if in the end they leave us? I don’t have an answer to that but I know not loving is not life.
The trick with mourning is knowing when to move on, you have to move on, if not you stop living, moving on is a gradual process.
It doesn’t matter what loss you’re going through someone has it worse than you sometimes the key to survival is finding that person(that has it worse than you) and helping them.
Pain is relative, what’s bearable for you could be unbearable for the next fellow.