As young man one of the things that I feared more than most things was making my mind up about stuff. It always seemed to leave me disabled and unsure of myself. Man is primarily a decision making being, it’s what sets man apart from all other beings on earth. All around us choices must be made and if we are sincere guys are required to make more decisions in their lifetime than ladies (no offense). Though this last statement might sound sexist, it’s not; because men are seen naturally as leaders and so there’s an onus placed on guys to be able to make decisions that will advance the cause of living. Guys, only very few ladies would date a guy who is indecisive and leans on them to advance the cause of life, I have seen very strong willed, do-it-yourself ladies who complain when their man is prevaricating on issues. And only few companies will retain a guy who is undecided in all things. Decision making is an integral part of being a guy. Decision making is taking charge of the situations if your life and not letting the situations take charge of you. Decision making isn’t easy but it’s worth it every step of the way.
Why is decision making tough? One of the things I learnt from the period of my “youth” was that decision making comes from a place of confidence. Decision making requires that you have confidence in who you are and what you stand for and as young people we usually are still in the discovery phase of our lives (though a good life is a life of continual discovery) so not much seems clear and many doubts seem to fill our minds. You must understand, decision making goes beyond making choices. Why, I hear you ask! At a lower level, decision making is making choices but you see making choices reflects the presence of alternatives, options or whatever term you want to use to describe them but on a higher level real decision making is when you have to reach conclusions when your options aren’t clear cut. Decision making is really about making up your mind.
This is the first secret (if I can call it so) of decision making,
KNOW YOUR MIND. To effectively make a decision, you must know your mind in essence know yourself. Life is all about Opportunity Cost (Economics students will understand); opportunity cost is simply the concept that you will always have different options when faced with any particular situation. So your decision must be determined by your need. In decision making, you must be clear in your mind about who you are because who you are determines what you need. Think on this, the need of a body builder is different than that of an obese person; body builders are required to consume a lot of food but if an obese person decides to make the same choice the “builder” makes then they are asking for death. My journey has taught then when deciding on what to do, I start with the question, “”who am I?” What are my values, what are my needs and where am I headed. The destination determines the decisions a driver would make, no driver gets on the road and let’s the road decide where he’s headed.
The second secret I’ve learnt is KICK THE FEAR. No decision you will ever make will ever be without its pros and cons. Many times people think that the secret to choosing is choosing the path with more pros than cons but that’s not true. Your intended destination should be the prevailing factor in decision making not the ease or difficulty of reaching there. Fear is a constant companion in the journey of life, its demands on our person stems from our not knowing the unknown but yet the “unknown” holds our glories. When deciding, don’t let the cons become greater than the glory you foresee, as long as your fear is greater than your goal, you will remain undecided. Listen, hesitation isn’t always a bad thing but hesitation that turns to a habit will destroy your will. Your best choices are not always your easiest choices.
The last secret I want to share is BE READY TO PAY THE PRICE. Every decision you will ever make has a price attached to it. When I make decisions as a person, one of the things I tell myself is, “”I am man enough to take whatever the outcome is”. If you don’t approach life from that perspective, you will never be bold enough to make decisions. Even when you don’t know all the possible demands your decision will create, you must trust yourself enough, knowing you have what it takes to win no matter what. This thought just crossed my mind, “”Life is designed for you to win not lose” so you can attack life knowing that everything you need to win has been deposited in you. You weren’t created deficient in any way, shape or form, you make up has included all you need to do what is essential. Decisions don’t come cheap, so you must ensure that you build your inner strength. Over all, decision making is a reflection of who you believe you are, to advance your life, you will make many decisions and to make these decisions you must develop yourself. Thanks for the privilege to share your journey with you, C ya!!!
the flying dutchman 