Growing up I heard many views about the female folk and am sure lots of ladies will testify to hearing these same views. Parents usually would talk about how they had to shield their daughters so that they wouldn’t lose their honor.
Photo credit : babycentre.com
Talk of girls being fragile so handle with care! Hmmm, women are weaker vessels BUT they are not weak vessels. The most difficult part of this whole discourse is that lots of females have been fed this line for so long that they have come to define themselves by it, for example, they see themselves only from the lens of their virginity as if the only thing that gives a woman honor is being a virgin. Don’t get me wrong I’m not advocating that a girl runs out into the world and gets disvirgined on a whim but not being a virgin doesn’t strip a lady of her womanhood. But hey, being a woman is more than being a virgin, sometimes being a virgin can become a liability instead of a blessing (ask lots of ladies and they’ll confess that it most times becomes a weight on their lives cos they don’t own it but rather feel they owe it to others). Lots of girls see themselves as frail and unable, they grow up believing that once they break the “code” then they are worthless, people who should know better act as if once a lady gets pregnant out of wedlock then her value reduces, that’s bull crap, children increase the value of a woman. Yes agreed that it wasn’t in “season” but cos it’s not in “season” doesn’t take away the blessing. Lady, don’t let anyone talk you down cos you’ve been bruised by an event in your life, yes you’ve been abused, sexually, emotionally, physically maybe even spiritually and though you can’t deny the pain, you can deny the shame. Don’t let people use the wounds against you, don’t let them demean you cause you got wounded in the battle of life. Great soldiers usually never go thru a battle without scars. If a player went on the football field on a wet and rainy day and when the match was over his jersey was as clean as when he got on the field, people would question if he played at all. Only those who play get dirty, Only those who play get injured. Sister, the wounds you’ve gotten from life are the evidence that you’re playing the game of life, they are evidence that you’re not a spectator or just sitting on the bench, you’re in the game. Wear your bruises like a badge of honor not cause they don’t hurt but cause they show you’ve got skills. If you didn’t have skills you wouldn’t be on the field of play, if you were not on the field of play you wouldn’t be bruised. Because your path in life has been or is painful doesn’t mean your life is useless or dreadful. Being bruised doesn’t mean you’re dead and as long as you’re not dead you always will get the opportunity to return into the game. The greatest obstacle to your return is not that you’ve been bruised and may be battered but rather that you allow your wounds to become your excuse for giving up and giving in. Don’t give up on yourself. Wounds only kill when you refuse to heal or you refuse to treat it. So every negative life has thrown at you, every wound you’ve suffered no matter how deep can be healed but healing can’t take place without the cooperation of the wounded. You can refuse to heal when you keep peeling open the bandages or you tell yourself this can’t heal, I won’t let it heal. Unfortunately, if you don’t let it heal, you will prolong your pain and even possibly set yourself on the way to death. Never forget that your pain opens the door to the pain of others, no doctor likes to lose a patient and though a doctor might learn to live with it if you refuse to heal then those caring for you will be torn apart by your pain. There’s always help for the wounds in your life, you just might need to get out of your comfort zone to find it, you know the reason many people don’t like hospitals is cos it demands a level of vulnerability that they are not comfortable with and that works in life also, lots of girls don’t know how to get help cos to receive help you must be vulnerable but you also must be vulnerable to the right people, you don’t just work into a roadside pharmacy and call it a hospital cos it’s not. Build a circle of trust, give one or two people whose words you’ve tested and come to value entrance to your heart. Find someone who isn’t judgmental and doesn’t seek to use you to gain brownie points in life and befriend them. Building takes time so give yourself time, accept that healing takes time. Listen, healing always takes place but you must place yourself in the right environment. You need to start building the environment that brings out the life in you cos it’s life that heals wound, No One can build the environment you seek better than you. You’re bruised but don’t forget, injuries might take you out of the game but it doesn’t rob you of your abilities. Cos you cut yourself when cooking doesn’t mean you lose your ability to cook, it’s not your hand that really cooks, it’s your mind. Your ability resides in your mind not your hands, even if you cut off your whole hand, as long as your mind is intact you can use the hands of another to produce spectacular meals. So, your body, ego, “heart” is bruised but your Godgiven talents and abilities are still seated in you, don’t let the brokenness steal your destiny. You might be thinking but this event has limited my options, guess someone who’s had a baby out of wedlock might say so, yep but limited options don’t equal no options. Being limited in what you can do doesn’t mean you can’t do at all. Lady, don’t believe the lies, you don’t stop functioning cos you “broke the code”, if the code is broken fix it. Many ladies have fixed the code back in their lives. You are bruised but you’re a not useless. Every wound is painful, dear lady don’t deny the pain, feel the pain but don’t wallow in it; cry the tears but don’t drown in it; hate the wound but don’t hate the body bearing the wound cos the wound will pass, the body will still remain yours. Wounds don’t make one Useless, they give you testimonies. Stay strong and Be strong. C ya!!!!