Termites, tiny little creatures that sneak into places and quietly eat away on any piece of wood they find, a homeowners worst nightmare is to discover he has Termites and worse they’ve been there for awhile. Same thing goes for relationships, there are some tiny seemingly not harmful or unnoticeable things that sneak in and in the end might end up ruining relationships. Well the key is knowing what they are and keeping an eye out for them, so let’s examine some relationship termites…
1.THE LIST: we all know it, that little black book where you keep a record of wrongs ever done to you by your partner, well for whatsoever reason you justify doing this, it’s wrong for so many reasons, a heart full of hurts will find it hard to love, keeping a list makes you want to pick fights more often so you’ll get even which eventually can wear out a relationship, when you keep a list your simply stating the fact that you have no trust in the person and you expect them to commit another wrong and then you slam the hammer of justice on them, this always keeps you on the look out and you end up enduring the relationship day to day instead of enjoying it.
2.EXPECTATIONS: It’s good to know what you want and how you want it, but it’s also good to know that the other person has no idea what your dream bae is supposed to do or not do, instead of throwing a tantrum make out time to tell your partner what you like and what you don’t like, tell them what they do that gets on your nerves, sometimes what’s an abomination to you is totally acceptable to the other person, so instead of picking up the boxing gloves or giving the silent treatment, talk about it, not as an accusation but rather an observation.
3.THE EX SYNDROME:just to be clear ex here means someone you’ve been involved in a relationship with in the past, but it may also mean someone in your life who you valued and probably had top priority, could be your dad, mum, childhood friend e.t.c, the point is do not use another person’s wrongs or rights to judge another, their totally different human beings, don’t say she did this to me before so am not sure about it, or my mum used to do this in a particular way,or when I used to hang out with my friend we usually did this, you are creating a new set of memories and experiences with a person you clearly value, don’t ruin it by bringing in baggage.
To continually enjoy being with the person you are with, you have to protect, preserve and nurture your relationship.