I once had need of a reading partner in school and then a friend introduced me to the concept of The Active partner. The Active Partner happens to be the partner with drive. The partner who takes it upon himself to remind the other partner of study time, the partner who sorta ensures they study even though it’s cold outside, the partner who says “let’s stay a lil longer”. His basically the partner with zeal and everything needed for study. I trust you get the picture and frankly I think it worked. Why? Because i passed my exams with ease. But I discovered something that every successful person gets to know. Success is not just a destination neither is it just achieving a goal. Success is who we become in achieving those goals. It’s the evolution of yourself; your belief system, your character, your courage, doggedness etc I mean if you tell successful peeps like myself that you have monetary value of millions in the bank, it means nothing, I really don’t care. You could have inherited it, you could have found some money, you could have won it at the lottery but still means nothing to me about your person. But if you said you worked your zero account up to even thousands then you have my attention. Why? Because for that to happen, you must have changed your lifestyle, you just must have. You must have imbibed the spirit of discipline needed to perform certain principles without which you would never be able to (1) get such money (2) sustain any money at all. We know a success story is not one who once had or made it but one who still has and still make success happen. Whew…have I gone off track?
To quickly cap off a point. An Active Partner is forever a valuable partner. Why? You become strong. What I found out personally is that you become happy and you become less dependent on anyone for fulfillment. And people notice too. If you partner lags behind for any reason, you can go yourself and still achieve your desired results. True it works. It becomes clear that even if it takes a team to win championship, it takes one individual to become MVP. It’s one individual that another club would be willing to break the bank for and not for the whole team even though it was the team who won the championship.
In my relationships, I try to position myself as the active friend. I don’t wait for you to sustain our friendship, I’ll work to sustain it and I bet you if for any reason there is a break, you’ll be the one missing me. Why? Because we are naturally drawn to those who add value to our life. Those who through continuous action desire our growth.
The active partner cannot be fired just like that. It would be too much a risk. How do you begin the search for somebody with his/her level of dedication. Worst still you might just be handing them over to your direct market rival.
The Active Partner cannot just be jilted. Are you joking to try that? In this busy world, in this world of drive for financial freedom and all kinds of pleasure and time consuming distraction, you now decided to jilt the one person apart from your parent who has high percentage commitment to your growth. I would like to say a few things on this because as have been told “everything rises and falls on relationship”. Don’t get mad if your partner starts seeing someone a week after you broke up with him/her. You cannot conclusively accuse them of double dating. Maybe, just maybe you were never the Active Partner. Maybe they miss nothing about you. Why would they even want you back?
When people say they miss you, what they originally mean is that they miss the value your presence adds to their life. They miss how you make them see beauty in this challenging world and a whole lot of goodies.
So I don’t pray to say that my wife brought happiness when I met her. Instead I shall today do the work necessary to be the Active Partner who delivers happiness to his family, friends, his community and his world at large.
Dedicated to Emeka Nwokedi.