I was a victim of a prophesy gone wrong as a kid, the prophetess on that good evening had pronounced me a witch with some horrible deeds.
I was beaten by the resident evangelist who owns the prayer house to confess to things I could not find a shadow of, even in my wildest imagination.
But trust me torture always inspires confession, when your body can no longer take it. Your mind starts making it all up.
It’s was a religious Child Abuse better imagined than experienced.
Well that is a story for another day.
Ever since that experience I made up my mind to stay away from church and church folks, though a kid I warned my mum never to ask me to go to church or follow her anywhere spiritual and it stood.
I took it personal with God and became what you may call an atheist.
I believed like every other aethiest that there is no God, if there is God then how can a woman who many accept as His Messenger tend to destroy the image and life of an innocent boy who loves him and enjoys following his mum to all spiritual meetings.
It distorted my relationship with God and anyone who claim to be associated with Him.
Many years have gone and I just got admission into the university.
Though I was little in stature and innocent in looks.
I had my own plans and God was almost not part of it.
Except that I decided I will honour Him with about two hours in church on Sunday, I mean my name is Nelson and I am suppose to be a Christian. But you know the story already.
I was a not a typical bad boy but I was not a committed christian either. I was a only a Christian by birth and association, I was born of the flesh and was not born of God. (see John 1:13)
Then I attended this fellowship a few times, first i loved the fact that it was all young people there. To me it was social seeing young people all up in church service all by themselves. I was fascinated.
The music was good and I danced like I use to in high school the only difference was that I don’t leave the church after praises like I use to back in high school. I never took God or church seriously then.
I enjoyed the fellowship, especially that with the brethren because though I had an unsettled issue with God, this set of His followers who are all about my age group are unconditionally appealing to me.
They will check on me and ask me questions about my well being, the love kept me coming back.
I had before now resolved in my mind to flex my ‘youth’ and give my life to Christ finally if need be when I have done all that was on my mind.
To be sincere there was nothing much on my mind. I just did not want to be that typical church guy carrying Bible and telling People about Jesus.
I wanted to be at most a cool christian, the kind that says hi to God on Sunday then cut off till another appointment on next Sunday.
But deep down I knew there is a lot I don’t know, I knew something was missing, I have been running away from God’s call on my life all my life, coupled with the fact that I had an ugly experience as a child in the hand of some of his self acclaimed messengers.
I never since then took God seriously and I was stubborn towards God than I was towards any man. I wanted Him to come and defend Himself. I waited all this years but got nothing but silence.
Now I knew something was changing in me from the inside out, my God consciousness was becoming increasingly overwhelming. But I resolved that if at all I am coming back to being a Christian I must this time know God for myself so that nobody can ride on my innocence or ignorance of Him and his dealings.
At this point this scripture kept ringing in my head. “what shall separate us from the love of God ” and each time it does my childhood experience comes playing before me.
As I kept going to church I began gradually getting closer to God though I try to deny it within myself.
Then it happened. I couldn’t stop thinking about God,the more I try to tell myself there is no God, the more everything reminded me of his presence. The best way to describe how I felt was the feeling of falling in love.
One scripture that kept ringing in my head was, “I will never leave you nor forsake you”
It was so overwhelming it seemed God was stalking me. He intruded in my space and thought. It was total disruption, like a flood gate was open and I was swept way.
God will talk to me like He is my lover. Which I later realize He is.
I suddenly picked an unusual love for the Bible, especially the song of Solomon.
I thought to myself, “this book that is only read on wedding day, is there not more to it? ”
Of cause I got to find out there was more, as I realized it is a dramatized love later from Jesus the groom to the church His bride.
So in simple and personal terms it is God’s love letter to me.
He tells me funny and sweet things and I will just smile. I started experiencing the humorous side of God.
Soon I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore.
What I had with God can best be described by one word “ROMANCE”
It’s a word most people are not comfortable with thinking its negative.
I I can boldly proclaim that I had a romantic relationship with God.
I talked to just anybody and everybody I came across about the Love of God.
His love was shared abroad in my heart and I couldn’t help it’s overflow. (Rom 5:5)
I tried reading my book, but chemistry was teaching me how the bond and binding forces represents the binding love of the father for me and us all.
I read the Bible from Genesis to revelation on the subject of God’s love.
I remember a day I met with a guy in 500 level who told me God has given him the same message .
I spoke for about three hours and he listened with amazement as I used odd illustrations to show how real God’s love was. He told me I said deep things he hasn’t heard before, truth is I was hearing most of the things I was saying with my ears for the first time.
I was so overwhelmed by God’s love I prayed while sleeping. I was excited about sharing the love that has been shared abroad in my heart.
Soon it was obvious that this my new found love was not fading any time soon, I realized this love never fails(1 Cor 13:8)
A senior friend always called me the Love Apostle. The only way you could escape hearing about God’s love was to escape me.
God Himself calls me “Beloved ” .it was the birth of the name !CE DE BELOVED.
Oh! I am suppose to be writing about the love of God. The truth is the love of God is best experienced than told.
The love of God is perfect and it cast out all fears.(1 John 4 : 18)
Once I had this encounter I overcame fear especially the fear of telling people about God, i received the boldness of a lion.
“I have not given you the spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind” 2 TIM 1:7
The love of God is towards God and humanity, else unbalanced and unreal. (1 John 4 : 20)
At this encounter, I naturally became a lover of all men not just God.
I started seeing people through the eyes of God, this helped my relationship with God and men. I mean i cant say i love God that I don’t see with my eyes without loving my neighbor that i see.
Those around me could testify that something has changed in my life. I was changed and the attributes of 1 Corinthians 13:4 and 5 became my life.
The love of God makes one to be kingdom minded, it is the passion that fuels our kingdom service and putting God first always.
when I had this love encounter, my whole life was turned out and the kingdom mindset filled me.
I became sold out for the gospel sake, I will wake up in the morning and text the daily message and Bible text God reveals to me to my friends on my contact list.
I wasn’t getting any positive feedback but I took their silence for a good sign and was relentless in my thrive to reach out. Now that was love at work. (See 1 Cor 13 :8)
Also at this point all my giftings turned automatically towards God. As I will write and sing him love songs, I will write poems and rhymes about His love, my facebook wall turned from mine to His as I posted on and about His love on regular basis.
It’s been five years now since my love encounter with God, and today the love of God is my life and message.
I have grown and rooted deeper in His love.
The love of God has changed my whole being. I never thought I will be the one to write and testify Jehovah. But here we are ‘ indeed love overcomes everything.
I am currently what you may call an internet evangelist as my passion and love for God and humanity in response to the demand for the great commission has lead me to witness to others what I have witnessed first hand.
Using my horrible childhood experience and the romantic relationship I now have with God as a tool for kingdom outreach to especially the youth of this generation.
The result has been great, recently we had a testimony of a friend who converted to Islam but is now back to the faith through this internet outreach.
And it was not “preaching” that made her change, it was the love of God expressed through different mediums especially through my life as I loved her all the same irrespective of her decision to be a Muslim as of then reminding her constantly of God’s unwavering love and demonstrating it through my own actions, in-actions and reactions towards her. I became the living epistle, living out 1 Cor 13:7.
She will be testifying to the glory of God on Christmas day in faraway Kenya in her local assembly of how Gods love has brought her back, and inspiring youths to love God the more.
From an atheist to a Love essenger.
I am a living proof of God’s love today. And I owe it all to God.
My Name is Nelson and I am a sickle of salvation in the hands of the Lord of the harvest.